How Cancer led me to my Dream Life

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 27, I thought my life was over. The fear was overwhelming. I remember thinking how I hadn’t done nearly all the things I wanted to do in my life. I hadn’t travelled enough. Hadn’t had the chance to be a mom. I hadn’t achieved all my dreams. What I didn’t realise at the time was that my diagnosis was the very thing that would put me on the path I had always dreamt of. 

I found a lump in my right breast in March 2020, right before we went into lockdown. I was told by my doctors that it was probably nothing. I had to wait 5 months to have it removed due to COVID, and when I finally did, I was hit with those life-altering words: “You have cancer.”

I had never been more afraid or more shocked in all my life. I didn’t sleep much that first night, and it was in the early hours of the morning, sitting on my couch in our apartment, listening to worship music and journaling that I knew I had a decision to make. I could let this news destroy me. It would be so easy for it to. And I mean, who could blame me? 

Or I could use this as an opportunity to rise up, inspire others and share my story.

Over the past 5 years I’ve gone from disaster to my dream life. Over those years I have learnt a lot about myself, a lot about social media and building a career and a brand online and maybe I’ve learnt a few things about building the life you want too. I hope to share some of those things with you tonight.

For many years before my cancer diagnosis I had tried to grow my audience on social media by following the tried and tested path of lifestyle and fashion content , with a perfectly curated feed that can oftentimes be translated into a perfectly curated life.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, and came to learn how many people around the world are affected by breast cancer, I began thinking about sharing my journey on Instagram.

I knew cancer wasn’t a pretty journey. So at first I was anxious when I considered being vulnerable and sharing my real, honest experience of grappling with a cancer diagnosis and treatment online. 

My whole experience of social media had been the portrayal of the perfect life. Sharing the details of my tragedy felt like I was somehow breaking the unspoken rules of social media.

But I decided that if my story could help one other person, it would be worth whatever the cost might be to “my perfect Instagram life”

So, I made the decision to share the day to day reality.

I began posting: the good days. The bad days. The scary ones. I showed up in my hospital gown, without makeup, with my bald head and I tried to honestly, openly share the reality of what I was going through.

As I went through my 16 rounds of chemotherapy, 3 surgeries, and 20 rounds of radiation, I kept sharing. I did photoshoots with my bald head, I posted videos about my journey, I shared photos of me in hospital. And I realised that people loved the realness of my journey. That I wasn’t trying to hide behind filters, edits or an unattainable life. I was showing up to share the bad days. I was sharing authentically.

And you know what… people responded. My following started to grow.

Every day women would message me to say they felt seen. Others thanked me for helping them support a loved one going through cancer. 

It was then that I realized that this wasn’t just about me, my story was helping others, and that gave my journey purpose. That gave me purpose. All of a sudden I wasn’t just getting out of bed for myself every day, I was getting out of bed to show other women around the world that if I could face my cancer diagnosis, they could face the trials in their lives too. There was a huge unexpected blessing in this, which was that the sharing and supporting of others through my platform was feeding me, and giving me courage, especially on those very tough days.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt over the past five years is people are hungry for authentic content. They want to see themselves in the content that they consume.

You don’t need a perfect feed or a perfect life. Believe me, I thought you did. What people are really craving is authenticity, realness and raw truths. Not lives that are unattainable.

And brands are starting to realise this as well. During this time, I started receiving PR drops from brands. Everything from skincare to makeup and even wigs and for the first time, I realised that brands represent companies that are made of people that have the same desire for authenticity that you and I have.

We want to purchase from and be associated with brands that are real. That are open and honest.

And so if you are thinking of growing your personal profile or a brand online that would be one of my strong recommendations to you: be authentic.

Even if only five people are watching in the beginning, speak to them. You never know how your voice might change someone’s life. And in turn, that could change your whole life too.

Although cancer was the big disruption, the questions I had, began long before cancer.

Truthfully, before cancer, I was still figuring it out. 

I had studied Accounting at Wits, wanting to become a Chartered Accountant like my dad. But after failing one of my 3^rd year majors, resulting in my 4 year degree turning into 5 and then failing my board exam… twice, I had to admit that it wasn’t for me.

So I pivoted. I studied Interior Decorating, and eventually landed a dream job at Cecile & Boyd. I got to travel into Africa to decorate Singita lodges which was an absolute dream come true! But when COVID hit, my role changed and I was moved from the design team to a sales role, working six days a week in a furniture store. At the time I was just lucky to have a job, but if I’m honest, I was feeling unfulfilled.

And then, my cancer diagnosis. My body forced me to slow down, to heal, and in that pause, I began to ask bigger questions. 

What do I want my life to look like? What am I actually meant to do? What if cancer is the end of the road? How do I want my final chapter to be written?

I was blessed in this pause to have found my passion in content creation and in some ways I’m grateful for the journey that I’ve walked because it’s led me to be working in and living out what I truly believe I should be doing.

And so I’ve learnt that sometimes the thing that feels like it’s breaking your life down might actually be breaking it open on purpose, to show you a different path. But only if you choose to be intentional with your decisions and actions. 

Please God none of you have to have cancer be the disruption. But maybe you need to make your own disruption. Don’t let anyone make you feel like your dreams aren’t valid. If something in your life doesn’t feel the way you want it to, take a step back. 

Look at your life and then decide what you want it to look like. And if that is a big change, chase that thing with all you have. And maybe it doesn’t stick but there is also so much to learn in the trenches and failures. 

My biggest failures led me to realising my biggest dreams.

However, when all my main cancer treatments ended, I once again found myself feeling lost.

My identity had become so wrapped up in cancer content, that without it, I didn’t know who I was anymore. I had built this following on social media, but now I didn’t know what to post about. While feeling lost, I tried returning to posting about fashion, beauty, travel etc, all things that I love but that was not the reason people were following me anymore.

My growth plateaued and I became discouraged. I started having those tough conversations with myself about what the heck I was doing with my life and whether this dream was even valid? 

Would it be better for me to just go get a “real” job?

But something in me refused to settle. Deep down, I knew there was more. I knew I had a rare opportunity to go after my dreams and I believed that I could do this. I just needed to find my “thing”

And then… I found it. Or should I say, he had been lying next to me in bed this whole time.
 
During COVID, my husband Nick and I filmed a silly couples video together on TikTok: “What we thought marriage would be like vs. what it’s actually like.” It went viral and we got a million views which grew my TikTok following quite quickly. But with my cancer diagnosis there wasn’t much time for comedy at home, so we stopped.
 
Fast forward to March 2023, I convinced him to film a video with me again. Just a light-hearted skit about how wives always wait for their husbands to sit down before asking them for water. That was the video that changed everything. It eventually hit 15 million views on Instagram and our page started to grow.
 
And that was the moment I knew – THIS was our niche. This was our thing. Relatable, light-hearted, real-life couples content. Suddenly, we weren’t just sharing for fun. We were building something, together.
 
The two types of profiles of mine that grew were both niche-focused. First, breast cancer awareness and then relatable couples comedy. I’ve come to see this as somewhat of a rule on social media.
 
If you are looking to establish or grow an account, my recommendation would be to first, find a niche that you are passionate about or hold some unique perspective on. Second, look for ways to differentiate yourself or your brand in that niche. This is a one-two recipe that most of the largest, online personas and brands get right.

Here are four accounts of local creators who I think have really done well to find their niche and stick to it, and their follower count reflects that.

Of course, finding your niche is just the beginning. Social media is all about playing the long game. 

For us, it took years, pivots, failures, awkward videos, and self-doubt. But consistency wins. We sometimes had months of videos not performing but we kept consistently posting and creating and then we would have a video go mega viral and grow our followers by thousands. Don’t give up. As Nick always says to me JUST KEEP PLUGGING.

Here we are today. We have worked with brands like Aperol, Suzuki, Revlon, Ucook, Lekkeslaap, One Day Only, The Waterfront, Dotsure and Reebok, to name a few. Such a large variety of brands which has really challenged us creatively and pushed us to constantly improve and grow in this field. But ultimately, it has been my dream realised. 

I look back and I realise my big disruption was the beginning of my big adventure. All the things I once upon a time wished I could have: brands sending me pr packages, inviting me to events or sending me places has come true because I never gave up on the dream. 

I fought hard to not let the life altering journey of breast cancer steal my hopes and dreams, and to share that experience authentically.

I discovered niches that aligned with my lived experience, and worked consistently at creating valuable, meaningful and uplifting content within them.

And now, I get to do what I absolutely love, and I get to be on this crazy awesome journey with my hubby. And together, we get to make the world laugh!

And what could be better than that?

So, if you’re reading this and you’re thinking that you’re too late, too behind, or too broken to start, hear me when I say: you’re not.

You are allowed to change your life. At any time. For any reason. As many times as you wish.

Whether your detour comes through illness, heartbreak or failure, don’t fight the pause. Don’t waste the pain. Use it. Grow through it. And if you can, make people laugh along the way.